The Love Factor – Part 2

Another thing about affirmations in general is that they do not consider right and wrong motive. There is an assumption in self-help circles that people know what they want and that their motives are genuine. There is this idea that whatever a person desires is something that they indeed should attain, and can attain, if they use the correct principles and formulas. There is therefore a need to be able to somehow discern what is genuine from our motives and to bring our desires into question in order to know what is right for us.

It is for this reason that I recommend using The Work of Byron Katie to question even your most precious, or even most convincing, goals and desires. Discovering and telling yourself that you actually can have a thing, is a powerful step towards finding peace. But also finding out and telling yourself that you actually don’t need that thing right now, is also a powerful step towards finding peace. Not surprisingly, you won’t see any affirmations that tell yourself that you don’t actually need those things that you desire the most – unless it is dealing with a habit, such as alcohol or smoking.

It is very frustrating when you feel that you are achieving a lot and doing a good job – only to find that someone who achieves less, but is more well liked (and perhaps more consistent) than you are – is appreciated and rewarded more. This is just one of the examples in which love is a significant factor.

In this example, Self-Talk directed solely towards achievement and performance, is only tackling part of the issue. So it seems that if Self-Talk is to be of any use, in some cases at least, there is a need for something more – there is a need for something which encourages and attracts love.

As I have said in recent blog entries, I have veered away from achievement of goals, towards the formation of character. This is because I believe that it is who you are on the inside that changes your environment: how you feel on the inside, how you relate to others, how others relate to you, what you achieve, how organised and efficient you are and your attitude towards things.

There are so many more examples that I could give in relation to love and character development versus achievement and attainment. You could have lots of friends, be surrounded by people you get on well with, yet feel terribly lonely. You could go on a date with an attractive member of the opposite sex, but lack the personality to sustain a worthwhile relationship. You could make a great effort to treat people with kindness, even perform acts of benevolence – yet be treated with rejection and hostility in return. You could achieve a major goal, perhaps go on the holiday of a lifetime, but if you don’t have love in your life – it won’t make you feel any better and it won’t change your life.

There seems to be a higher spiritual law in effect when it comes to love. This law of love is something that none of us can avoid and it affects every area of our lives. Love is the very essence of our higher nature, but it seems to depend a great deal on our beliefs and attitudes when it comes to how and when we allow it to work in our lives.

When it comes to what love actually is and how it expresses itself from our higher nature, I believe that First Corinthians 13:4-7 explains what it is:

⁴ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

⁶ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 nkjv

There seems to be so much more than accompanies love as well: joy, peace, intuition, vitality and so on.

If you are going to use Self-Talk or any other method of affirmations – I think it would be a good idea to include statements which encourage the development of the above qualities.