I’ve already mentioned in recent blog entries that I am inclined to believe that the best, most balanced approach to affirmations has to be that of Shad Helmstetter as presented in his books What to Say When You Talk to Yourself and The Self-Talk Solution.
Self-Talk seems to be like a pep-talk to me – but one that can actually re-program your subconscious mind with new, positive directives. It is all about changing your attitude from a negative one to a positive one. Self-Talk helps you to see things from a different perspective – a positive one; instead of telling yourself that you can’t do, be or have something – you tell yourself that you can.
So Self-Talk definitely seems to have its merits. I’m not entirely convinced, as yet, that it actually works – but I’m still optimistic and curious about it enough to stick with it and see what happens. But if Self-Talk works as well as the author says it does – it is worth giving it a go.
I like the fact that Self-Talk is balanced and realistic – there are no affirmations that tell you that you’re a millionaire or otherwise significantly wealthy. In fact, in amongst all the thirty or so Self-Talk scripts in the book The Self-Talk Solution, there are only about one or two scripts on the subject of money. This is likely to disappoint some, but I feel that the balance is right. After all, there’s more to life than money and there’s more to making money than just telling yourself that you have it. Some of the Self-Talk scripts in this book cover specific areas, such as losing weight or quitting smoking, whilst others are about believing in yourself and being motivated. But it is all stuff that I think most people could believe and accept.
But now that I read the Self-Talk scripts, there seems to be something missing. I have always struggled with depression and anxiety to one extent or another – but the last 15 years or so has been rather difficult. I would say that the past 15 years have taught me what love is, ironically, by experiencing what life is like without it. In fact, a distinct lack of love has probably been the root cause of my depression and anxiety in the first place.
What often motivates people to use affirmations, goal-setting and other self-help principles and formulas – is the promise of fulfilment and happiness, often through the achievement and attainment of things. There seems to be a direct connection in our minds between what we have or do, with how we feel on the inside. We have literally become programmed to see achievement and the attainment of money and material goods, as being the measure of how good we feel on the inside. We have just learned to believe that if we can just find the formula to get and do the things we need – all of those things that we associate with love, will inevitably accompany those achievements.
I find that what life has shown me is that a lot of the time, what I have or do has very little to do with how I feel emotionally. There are so many misnomers in life which have us striving for all the things we think will make us happy, when all along, they don’t have a great deal to do with our mental and emotionally well-being.
A classic example of this concept is the workaholic who works hard in the office in the hope of advancement and a sense of personal satisfaction. Little does this person realise that no matter how hard you work, if people don’t have a good opinion of you, it could achieve a lot less than you expect it to. It is quite possible to work hard all year – only to make some little mistake down the line, which seems to greatly diminish the confidence you have in yourself, as well as the confidence that others have in you. Again, it all comes down to the opinion that other people have of you. If you know that others have a low opinion of you, then you know that just one little mistake could deal a mortal blow to your career progression.
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