Attachment vs. Non-Attachment – Part 2

A little while ago I posted blog entries on Low AGFLAP People and High AGFLAP People. These blog entries contrasted two states of being - each at opposite ends of the negative emotional spectrum. A.G.F.L.A.P. is an acronym used in releasing circles, both in the Sedona Method and Release Technique, which identifies the negative range of emotions; each letter identifies a particular emotion. For instance, “F” is for “fear” and “L” is for “lust”. When a person is contracted, when they are attached to particular beliefs and expectations, they naturally experience the A.G.F.L.A.P. spectrum of negative emotions in their lives.

I also posted blog entries on CAP People – Part 1 and CAP People – Part 2. C.A.P. is an acronym used to identify the range of positive emotions. It is this state of C.A.P. that we need to seek to maintain in our lives.

The human mind naturally seeks to rationalise this stressful, A.G.F.L.A.P. state by blaming it on things they’ve done in the past or what other people have said or done to them; as well as what they think they need more or less of in that moment. Non-attachment occurs when we no longer allow people and circumstances to dominate our lives by influencing our thoughts and emotions in such a manner. Rather than trying to change our circumstances or change other people in some way – we can simply change the way we think about people and things so that they no longer prompt a reaction of stress from us.

As a Christian, or otherwise a believer in God, if you trust in God, you can allow the past to be as it is and believe that God can still make your future life the best it can be – if you will only believe and trust in Him. Faith, I believe, is the condition whereby you can go with the flow and trust in life to support you – without making specific demands of what you need or don’t need. It is an expression of anxiety and unbelief, if you find yourself feeling agitated and making all sorts of demands.

As a non-believer in God, you can simply derive hope from the fact that without worry, you can be the best “you” that you can ever be and you can make the most of your life from this moment forwards. Life is all about making decisions – if you are less prone to worry, you are more likely to make those decisions that will steer you towards positive circumstances.

Attachment vs. Non-Attachment – Part 1

I think there is a need to veer away from attachment, to rules, rituals, principles, formulas and expectations. There is a need to adopt a lifestyle of non-attachment, in which you don’t hold onto specific expectations and you don’t try to use principles and formulas.

Non-attachment is an alien concept for many people, particularly self-help advocates and religious adherents. I think the Buddhist community have got the concept of non-attachment down to a “T”. I’ll admit that I don’t know much about Buddhism, but what I do know about it really impresses me.  Buddhism seems to be oriented towards allowing things to be as they are, accepting others unconditionally and making space in your life and welcoming peace.

The releasing and inquiry communities tend to adopt Buddhist concepts, some of them are Buddhist, but most of them are not, I find. A lot of people in the releasing community seem to be advocates of Nodualism.

In my experience people who have come into releasing or inquiry, have tried popular self-help methods, particularly affirmations based methods such as The Law of Attraction, and found them wanting. When a person adopts releasing or inquiry as a way of life, there is a shifting away from claiming or attracting things, towards letting go of those wants and desires and beginning to question whether you really need them at all.

Christianity on the other hand has been all about do, do, do: it’s been obsessed with doing things, with the belief that you are lazy or sinful if you stop doing something religious and church-related for just a moment. There is also the awful threat of hellfire and damnation should you do something that is considered “sinful” or if you lapse in your religious obligations.

I find that there are hardly any Christians who use releasing or inquiry. I’m not at all surprise, to be honest; because there is no way that a person who follows a set of rules could incorporate releasing or inquiry concepts into their life and belief system.

Thankfully, the emerging “grace movement” in Christianity is shifting people’s perspective towards accepting yourself, your life and other people – just the way they are. Nevertheless, I still find that there is tendency even amongst some “grace Christians”, to continue pursuing miracles, fantasies, power and wealth. Amongst Christians, there is always the lure of reverting back to rule keeping in its more subtle form of following principles.

It is all a question of focus: with Christianity either the focus is on not sinning and doing something for God, or the focus is simply on knowing that you are loved and accepted by God – just the way you are. With releasing the focus is on understanding that the negative aspects of your life arise from the three wants and that you can let them go. With inquiry the focus is on understanding that all suffering in life arises from attachment to a thought and that through inquiry you can find freedom from those thoughts and the pain that comes when we attach to them.

For me, I believe that there is no reason as to why a person should not allow themselves to hold onto the non-stressful, core aspects of the Gospel which bring peace and hope – whilst releasing on or inquiring into, those wants or beliefs which bring stress.

Knowing the Love of God – Part 2

There is a strong theme of restoration and forgiveness that runs through the Bible. In the book of Job we read about the way in which God miraculously restored Job’s life, after he experienced one calamity after another. We also read of the numerous healings performed by Jesus in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. We read of the way in which the woman caught in the act of adultery in John 8; we read of how the Pharisees wanted to stone the woman to death and how Jesus forgave her and told to her, “Go and sin no more”.

Christians are to derive strength from the belief that God loves us, He has forgiven us for all our wrong-doing; He knows what’s best for us and He can restore us – no matter what we have been through in the past. But this does not mean that we can just demand what we want, when we want. Christianity has been focused on attachment much more than non-attachment.

There has been the continued, relentless pursuit of doing things for God and believing God for things. It is as if on one side we have had the horror stories of what will happen to you if you don’t do “X-Y and Z”. Then, on the other side, there are the tall stories, the tales of miraculous things that have happened in people’s lives because they prayed a certain way and “stood” on particular Bible verses and so forth. We need to get to a place whereby we realise that God accepts us just as we are, regardless of our performance. The best way to live a blessed way of life, I find, is to find peace of mind, free from the stress of wrong beliefs.

Knowing the Love of God – Part 1

If you have read some of my previous blog entries, you may very well be aware of the fact that I am a subscriber to the The Free Believers Network and The God Journey.

As a Christian I have come to the place whereby I see trusting in God as being the ability to just allow everything to be just as it is. One of the most futile practices that we commit to is that of arguing with the past. Whatever is past is past and unless someone invents a time machine - we cannot do a single thing to change what has happened to us and the things that we have already done.

We cannot do anything to change the past, but what we can do is choose to believe that the future can hold something wonderful in store for us – if we will just think positively and believe that it is so. No matter what has happened in the past – we can cooperate with The Divine in order to live the best future that we can possibly experience. It is in this space of hope and faith in which miracles can happen.

We make a mistake when we insist on a particular expectation for the future. More often than not such expectations are an expression of fear than that of the confidence that comes from true love. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says that: [love] does not seek its own. The Living Bible version says that: Love does not demand its own way. Love abides in the sphere as peace. Love does not exist in the same realm as fear. I like what John 4:18 says about love:

¹⁸ There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life - fear of death, fear of judgment - is one not yet fully formed in love.

1 John 4:18 msg

I think a lot of our fears are centred on a fear of death and a fear of God. It is for this reason that the formation of a proper perspective on death and God is vital in ridding oneself of fear. Christianity has been used throughout the centuries to put men and women under a yoke of religious bondage. However, there is now a move towards understanding the true Gospel message. I believe that the true Gospel, without rules and rituals, provides an antidote the problem of fear and guilt – giving hope, peace, forgiveness and the promise of restoration. Everything changes when we read the Bible through the lens of love. When we read the Bible through the lens of fear and religious obligation – it becomes something stressful and scary. The way in which we perceive God can mean the difference between peace or stress, love or fear.

For more information visit my grace Christianity blog The Divine Nature and look at some of the blog entries and links to other related resources. I recommend the book, The Misunderstood God, by Darin Hufford, which aims to provide a proper perspective on God in relation to love.

I Need More Money…Is It True?

Photo Money! courtesy of David Beyer.

I Need More Money – Is It True?

Yes.

Can I Absolutely Know for Certain it’s True?

No.

Who Am I With This Thought?

I’m obsessing over details and quantity with this thought. This thought is in the same category as wanting the cost of living to come down and wishing that you had a better job title and salary figure. This is a desire to control certain aspects of my life with the aim of making myself feel happier and more secure.

It seems that whenever the mind is backed into a corner through adversity and scarcity – it latches on to particular ideas of what if feels you need more or less of. The truth of the matter is that even if I had more money or the price of something is reduced – I am still left with my own propensity to worry, get confused and to make poor decisions. Even if I was promoted to a higher grade in my job – I would probably still feel just as insecure and would anticipate the next step up the career ladder. When you are insecure it just seems that you never have enough and that the cost of living is too high. It seems that no amount of money can plug the gap created by insecurity.

What I really need is to find peace in the moment and trust in life (and in God) to meet my needs, as-and-when they arise. A lot of the time I find that anxiety and insecurity leads people to want everything they will ever need – right now! It takes faith to trust that your needs will be met in the moment. It is not an act of faith to try to attract or claim material things from God or the universe – it is an expression of anxiety.

All these thoughts that I need more of this and less of that – they are just the product of an anxious mind. With these thoughts I experience stress.

Who Would I Be Without That Thought?

Without this thought, I would experience peace. I would be able to let go of making demands to God or the universe and trust in Him to bring me what I need, when I need it. It is arrogance and assumption on my behalf to claim that I know what is best for me.

If my mind is calm then I’m in a much better position to make good choices. Everything in life is a choice – whether they are big or small. It is our life choices that determine the course that our lives take. People are paid according to their ability to think fast and make the best choices in the most challenging situations. A clear mind is all that it takes, I believe, in order to live life to the full.

Let’s Turn it Around…

I don’t need more money. I just need to find peace of mind, free of anxious thoughts so that I can make good decisions. Otherwise, I’ll just end up frittering away what I have every time. The way I can find peace is by questioning stressful thoughts as and when they arise. But I find that the mind is reluctant to do that because it wants to make its demands and it wants to hold onto its fantasies and expectations.

TheWorkForBreakfast.com

I was browsing some "The Work" related articles and blogs on the internet and I came across this. I have not read much of it yet as I have only just discovered it, but I think it is worth investigating further as the website creator states that she has been doing The Work since 2003 so I think there could be a lot to learn from this website.  The website contains some examples of written inquiry sessions (in a similar way as what I’ve attempted to include in my own blog).

Written Inquiry Using The Work of Byron Katie | TheWorkForBreakfast.com

I Need to Make a Decision…Is It True?

I Need to Make a Decision – Is It True?

Yes.

Can I Absolutely Know for Certain it’s True?

No.

Who Am I With This Thought?

When I think this thought I feel anxious and frustrated. I feel as if I desperately need to change something about my life. I suppose the thought stems from the fear that I am in danger of being trapped in disappointing and difficult circumstances for the rest of my life, and therefore, it is up to me to make a decision now that will set me free.

The truth of the matter is that I could easily defer making a decision on the subject which got me anxious in the first place. I don’t really need to make a decision right now – but I fear that if I keep on putting it off – nothing will ever happen.

The situation is made much worse when you have a history of procrastination, disappointment and poor decision making. In my own life, I feel as if the last ten years of my life have been the most uneventful. It has been rather scary in fact when I look back and take stock of just how little my life has changed. But there is also so much I don’t understand, such as the lessons I have learned subconsciously from the experiences I have been through. Also, it is quite possible that I have been spared from some pretty awful things that seem to happen to some people. I suppose I’ll never really know.

When I think the thought that I need to make a decision right now – it’s as if I don’t trust in myself and life to make things happen in the right moment. I feel as if I need to circumvent the natural flow of life; and having control over the decision making process seems to be part of that.

But I have to admit that a key factor in all of this is my own anxiety: it seems that whenever I worry about things and I try to control circumstances – I just get more anxious and confused and the pain just seems to be prolonged.

I believe that the main lesson I need to learn in all of this is to not rush things and to just slow right down and be in step with the natural rhythm of life – even if it seems way too slow for my liking. I need to allow myself to go through a period of time, months or even years, whereby it seems that I hardly do anything and barely make a decision – if that is what it takes.

It is extremely difficult when there seems to be quite a lot of people around you who are constantly making spontaneous decisions, they are confident and life goes well for them. It does feel frustrating when such people ask you how your life is going and what you plan to do. But this is the challenge I need to face: I need to be able to handle this kind of situation and these kind of people. I suppose I just feel ashamed of myself when I compare myself with confident, spontaneous people who seem to always be making quick and effective decisions.

It really is like one of those Chinese finger puzzles: the more you pull, the more difficult it is to get out and the more it hurts you. I need to relax and not force things – only then will I be able to get free.

Who Would I Be Without That Thought?

I would be a lot less anxious and frustrated. I would be free to be myself in that moment – even if that means that I don’t make a decision. I could allow myself to just rest in the moment, even if people think I’m being lazy, without feeling guilty or ashamed. I must be true to who I am, and if that means doing nothing, so be it! I can no longer allow myself to be motivated from a place of hurt, fear, guilt or shame – it simply does not work and it is very painful. I believe that the more peaceful I am, the more likely I am to be able to make good decisions, confidently and spontaneously.

Let’s Turn it Around…

I Don’t Need to Make a Decision – not at this moment.