Why Affirmations Don’t Work – Part 7

The Misnomer of Goal-Setting

It is a common misconception to look at something you could have, be or do as meaning that you have attained some level of achievement – that you have overcome some sort of limitation or bugbear in your life. It’s as if that landmark achievement is attributed meaning that it simply does not deserve.

Typically, a person might look to a promotion and pay-rise to mean that all their financial woes are now over with; or a person might somehow look to the attainment of a certain material thing, such as an expensive house and car, to mean that they have what it takes to be successful in life.

Basically, we can look at other people, their possessions, relationships, achievements and titles as representing some sort of level of prowess, quality or ability that we desire to possess. It is true that in order for a person to attain a certain status or level of ability, they do indeed need to maintain a certain level of confidence, intelligence and ability.

But I’m inclined to believe that we often attribute more to these things than they deserve. After all, a neighbour might own your dream car, seem to have an ideal marriage, have a great job and own all the latest gadgets. But little do you know that that family could be heavily in debt, the man might be on the brink of redundancy, the couple could be arguing behind closed doors and be considering divorce – you really don’t know. We have heard people say time and again that money doesn’t make you happy – it is true – you could have a high salary figure and bank balance, yet be taking medication for depression.

Even if a person wins the lottery or inherits a substantial amount of money from a wealthy relative – it does not do a lot to change who they are on the inside. If you win the lottery and you lack confidence and self-esteem – guess what? You are highly likely to lack confidence and self-esteem even when you receive your prize. If you have an unpleasant, abrasive personality and struggle to get along with others – you will more than likely be exactly the same even if a rich relative dies and names you as the main beneficiary of the estate.

It’s as if you look to that fantastic achievement to mean that you are okay now and that good things will happen to you – which simply might not be the case. Many of the things that people desire in life require hard work, determination, wisdom, ability, inspiration and confidence; there is also likely to be a need to get along well with others, to be kind, considerate, warm, and friendly and to be a good communicator. These are the kind of qualities that everyone should aspire to.