Why Affirmations Don’t Work – Part 14

Goal Setting - The “Stress Test”

During my brief time with setting goals and using affirmations – I can see that my efforts were focused towards achieving things that I thought would transform my life. I set goals for things like getting more money, a promotion and pay-rise, a beautiful wife or some incredible achievement.

When your goals are focused on something that you believe will change your life, something that you must have, there will typically be a great deal of stress associated with that goal. When you look to a single thing to make your life go well, if that thing does not come to pass – the more insecure you are, the more likely you will be affected by it. For a neurotic, it can feel like the end of the world if you don’t achieve or attain ‘X’, ‘Y’ or ‘Z’ within a given time-frame.

I believe it is important to be flexible and to have the kind of character and self-belief that you can be happy, succeed and prosper – despite whatever set-backs you might face. Therefore, I am reluctant now to set goals for things that I believe will change my life – things that give rise to a lot of stress.

If a desired thing does give rise to stress – don’t be afraid to question it through inquiry using The Work of Byron Katie. Typically, you will need to question the belief that you can’t have a thing, as well as the belief that you must have it. I can foresee a reluctance to question your need for something that you desperately want and believe that you cannot live without. But it really comes down to the decision of whether you want the fantasy, with lots of stress, or the reality with peace. Just because you come to the realisation through inquiry that you don’t need a certain thing – it does not necessarily mean that you can’t have it. A good alternative to using The Work with goals is to use The Goal Process incorporated into The Sedona Method.

Personally, I’m reluctant now to set any kind of goal for something that causes me stress. It is that desire for control that gives rise to the stress. But I still believe that people should set simple and realistic goals for themselves – just like I have with a French qualification and exam. I don’t experience any stress with this French exam goal, because I don’t expect it to change my life. The power to change my life does not reside in what I do or have – but in who I am.