The Law of Attraction in my Own Life

I have certainly experienced the law of attraction in my own life: ever since I have known I have struggled with depression and anxiety and everything else that goes with it, such as lethargy and apathy. I can certainly vouch for the fact that negative thought patterns attract negative experiences. It seemed that one disappointment would occur after the other; this caused my anxiety levels to be high all the time as I struggled to come to terms with things in my mind and to try to figure out what was going on.

Attracting Opinionated People

I went through a period of several years when I seemed to attract highly opinionated people; these people were highly motivated in their jobs and would always be giving me advice that seemed to centre on working hard and achieving goals. But I noticed that these people were often proud, opinionated and argumentative – they would often complain, gossip, snigger and gloat. I would go along with all of this because I just assumed it was the way that life was meant to be; I assumed that life was competitive and that other people were to blame when I didn’t get the results and rewards I was looking for.

I came to see that there was something very wrong with this concept of effort-and-reward that I was so steeped in. But I would say that the prosperity and success teaching, much of it Christian, that I was obsessed with at the time, caused me to think and behave in this manner. Christian teaching on the subject of love showed me that there was something not quite right about my competitive attitude.

What alerted me to my wrong thinking the most was the way that it made me feel. I felt as if I was always anxious and grasping, never satisfied and feeling let down by others. I felt as if my efforts were never good enough and that there was always someone better than myself.

Escaping Self-Justification

When I tried to do a U-turn from my proud, competitive mindset – I found that some people turned on me and began to criticize me. It was at that moment that I realised how horrible this way of thinking truly is.

When I think about it now – I attracted those proud, competitive people into my life. Those people felt that they could express that attitude with me because I was likeminded at the time. If I did not have that attitude, I would have not attracted those people, but if I still attracted those people, there would have been little or no accord with them with regards to that proud and competitive mentality. As they say, “It takes two to tango.” I felt as if my own opinions and beliefs, even if I attempted to keep them suppressed, had an effect on other people. I believe that you can literally bring out the best or the worst in others, according to your own thinking.

I think one of the worst things you can do when avoiding conflict with others or negative thinking, is to resist it. When you try to argue with someone or you otherwise attempt to control them – it can cause inertia as two forces push against each other, keeping the tension in place. I am not advocating a weak and placid attitude – I am saying that it is often our beliefs and attitudes, and our desire to be right, that causes tension in relationships. There are times when it is simply best to just not argue with someone or to just walk away. I have tried to force my Christian beliefs on other people, whether they are believers or not, and it just turns into a predictable clash of egos with the same, typical responses from either side.

When I began to use inquiry, The Work, I was able to reflect on just how angry, bitter, opinionated and competitive I had been; how it made me think, feel and behave. I believe that inquiry can establish a profound turning point in someone’s life, as they come to terms with the way in which their thinking makes them feel and behave.

When a person’s sense of purpose and identity is reduced to performance and achievement – life becomes very stifling and limited. When I was with proud and competitive people, I would literally feel sick to my stomach: it just felt unpleasant and repulsive. I considered to myself if this was the way that I was causing other people to feel about me.

Thoughts Either Attract or Repel

Now, when I think back in my life, I can see why there were times when I would attract or repel other people. Our thoughts can either attract people or repulse them. If you want an idea of how your thoughts make other people feel, check on the inside to see how they make you feel; then, just take time to notice the way that certain people behave around you, how they welcome you, whether they warm to you or not.

I have a little theory, that everything we say and do is accepted by those we come into contact with according to how much love they have in their heart to accept it. Some people hate the idea that God “micro manages” every little thing we do. But I believe that God is big enough, omniscient and omnipresent enough, to be able to measure-out the love that we are afforded within every interaction that we have with other people.

Imagine loving the average person down the street as much as you do your best friend or spouse – it would not work. Relationships are controlled by love and love, I believe, is controlled by God. Love determines the degree to which we accept a person. We interfere with love when we hold onto our own beliefs and opinions about something or someone – when we get angry, criticize or hold onto a grudge. Our thoughts greatly influence the degree to which we accept others and life circumstances; whilst our thoughts also determine the way in which other people accept us.

You cannot make someone love you by simply changing your thought patterns. But I do believe strongly that the best thing we can do in order to experience love, as it is meant to be experienced for us, and to enjoy relationships to the full – is to release our hold on emotions and wants as they arise and to inquire into stressful thoughts, as they arise or as soon as possible after they do.

We might be tempted to think that judging others makes us feel justified or better than others, but it actually makes us feel angry and frustrated – inquiry allows us to tune into these reactions – not so we can make ourselves feel bad and feel guilty – but so that the awareness can allow the mind to let go of those thoughts by itself.