Ever since just before the start of this year, I have been listening intently to the Free Believers Network into the Wild podcasts. After years of frustration in the Christian church, these podcasts came as a welcome relief from all the hype and the false promises. I truly felt in my heart that I needed to listen to every single one of these podcasts; otherwise, I would go crazy!
It seems that for some people there is something that draws you towards the church and you get a revelation that God really does exist and that He sent Jesus to earth to save your soul. But rather than being drawn into a deeper revelation of Christ and His love for you – what seems to happen is that you get whisked away in a whirlwind of religious tradition and legalism which is made palatable by the use of incredible, one-off testimonies and extravagant promises which seem to make the miraculous seem as if outlandish and lavish blessings ought to be everyday occurrences.
It seems incredible to me now how Christians can become swept away in an unreal existence that really does not work – all in the hope that they will become the next Billy Graham or Katherine Khulman.
I really love listening to the Free Believers: Into the Wild podcasts because the hosts are totally down-to-earth, realistic and honest. It seems that in the church people are trained to act is if they are someone they are not and give the impression that they are blissfully happy and they never get angry. The hosts of this podcast down go all-out to bash the church, as such. No, these hosts truly have a genuine love for God and for people; it is not about slandering and criticizing the church – it is about discussing what they have experienced personally in an open and honest way and what really works.
In one of the latest episodes of this podcast, “Depression Uncaged” 3rd March 2010”, the hosts discuss that subject that is so dear to my heart. When I heard this podcast, as well as some past episodes, I was struck by the way that the hosts of the podcast seem to have had a similar spiritual journey as me. Furthermore, these people had suffered, and continued to struggle with, depression and anxiety. This made me consider the way in which institutional Christianity really does screw around with your mind.
One of the hosts, Aimee Dassele, spoke about the way in which guilt is often a factor when it comes to depression in the life of a Christian. This guilt applies pain on top of the pain that already exists. It seems that the depression is often compounded by a sense of guilt because of the depression. The church seems to convey the impression that every believer should be blissfully happy all the time and that if they are not, then it is their own fault because they didn’t pray enough, they lack faith or their in sin in their life and so on. Such convictions can cause a Christian to engage in all sorts of practices, fads, formulas and principles.
In this podcast message, the hosts were saying that you should embrace your highs and lows, which you should learn to live with depression, not trying to resist it or change it and certainly not being ashamed of it. I like this line of thinking because it is gravitating towards the concept of acceptance as practiced by those in the releasing and inquiry communities.
The main host of this podcast, Darin Hufford, said that he did not want the typical, patronising (but otherwise well-intended) replies, such as, “Just give it to Jesus.” I know, I’ve heard these kinds of statements a thousand times and it really does frustrate a person. It seems that the church has an answer for everything: if you are sick, you are to pray a certain way and “stand” on certain scriptures. If you are struggling financially, it is because you need to do this or that. But when it comes to depression and anxiety – I don’t think the church really has any answers. It is little wonder that many depressed people in the church are referred to secular counsellors and Psychologists.
I believe that releasing and inquiry can provide the framework and the tools for facilitating recovery for those who are struggling with depression and anxiety – regardless of their spiritual or religious convictions. Releasing and inquiry can provide a way of help for those who are recovering from religious abuse.
Something that Darin and Aimee raised in this podcast episode was the way in which depression and anxiety often go hand-in-hand – I can definitely, personally vouch for that! It does make me wonder what comes first: the depression or the anxiety. I find that when I felt gut-wrenchingly empty on the inside – I get anxious; when I get anxious – I feel unhappy – there is a definite connection.
Releasing provides the tools to accept the emotions and thoughts you feel in the present moment – knowing that this acceptance is the best way to let it go so that it evaporates. Releasing is so deceptively simple, and yet, so effective. If you have not yet experienced releasing – I would encourage you to purchase the basic releasing course, in book or CD form, via the Sedona Method or Release Technique (they are both very similar).
Inquiry is a wonderful way to tune-in to the thoughts and emotions that are part of you, so that you can become consciously aware of yourself. This is not to be confused with guilt, shame and morbid introspection: this is a means of questioning your most frightening thoughts and discovering for yourself that they are not true. Inquiry allows you to experience life with the thought, and than, life without the thought. Before naturally and peacefully reaching the “turnaround”. So, if you think to yourself, “I should read my Bible more.” The turnaround would be, “I should not read my Bible more.”
The hosts of the Into the Wild podcast express the notion that you should feel bitter and angry if you have experienced religious abuse. I agree with this, however, it does bring me back to the connection between anxiety and depression: these hosts are still experiencing depression and anxiety, by their own admission. So, why are these hosts still experiencing depression and anxiety?
I believe that the Byron Katie perspective of contraction around a thought comes to the fore here: religious abuse will most certainly result in contraction around a thought, “I should not have paid tithes to that church” or, “My pastor should not have lied to me”, or “I should not have been so gullible”, and so on and so forth. Whatever anxious thoughts arise, down stuff them down and repress them, but release them (using Sedona Method or Release Technique) and/or question them using The Work (also known as Inquiry). When you question a stressful thought and come to know it is not true – its grip on you loosens and you experience a sense of relief from that thought. Holding onto a bitter grudge often seems compelling, as if justice would not be done otherwise, but it ends-up hurting us much more than the other person – so is it really worth it?
Ultimately, Byron Katie’s notion on arguing with reality must be taken into consideration: if you argue with reality you will lose – but only one hundred percent of the time. You might have experienced abuse in the past, religious abuse or otherwise, but holding onto it, feeling guilty, angry and ashamed – won’t help you one bit. Use releasing and inquiry to find peace and freedom – regardless of what did or did not happen in your life.
If you are recovering from Christian, religious abuse – I would recommend that you listen to the Free Believers Network: Into the Wild podcasts – they are not a teaching, as such, but a discussion. I believe that this discussion will bring you a tremendous amount of freedom. I believe that victims of religious abuse can end-up “throwing the baby out with the bath water”: just because you feel hurt and deceived by the church – it does not mean that God does not love you and that Christ is not real to you today.
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