Right and Wrong Thinking

I recently listened to The Free Believers Network podcast episode entitled “The People Revelation”, May 22^nd 2010. In this podcast episode, the hosts discussed how people tend to not see the other person and truly appreciate them, if they hold onto a particular concept about that person. In other words, when we make our lives about what is right and what is wrong, we totally miss the heart, the essence of other people. It’s as if for some people, the concept of what is right or what is wrong is actually more important than the true value of the other person. When we learn to associate with another person, to connect with them on a heart level and be prepared to see things from their perspective – everything changes. Rather than judging another person for what they do, say, think and believe – we can move to a place beyond that were all of that does not matter and we choose to really love that person.

Christianity can be a belief and practice that is riddled with contradictions, such as, “You’re saved and set free from sin…but make sure you keep the rules, otherwise, you’re sinning.” These contradictions make no sense! Likewise, whether you are Christian or not, trying to love people when you hold onto a concept about that person, being either right or wrong, it causes us to miss the essence of what love really is. When we hold onto labels, such as, “He’s gay”, or, “She’s fat,” we put obstacles in the way of our seeing the light in a person’s life; because it all becomes about some aspect of what they do, believe or have. The biggest contradiction about Christianity is trying to love other people, and yet, holding onto concepts of what is good, bad, right or wrong. There is a desperate need, for Christians and non-Christians alike, to re-connect with the heart.

The use of labels is a sure-fire way of causing enmity and division with other people. I will admit that relationships on all levels have been a struggle with me since day one. I have encountered a lot of rejection and even verbal abuse from people. I believe what causes this is the beliefs and attitudes of a person. When you contract around concepts of right and wrong, even with the best of intentions, you inevitably fall into the trap of judging others.

When you judge other people, I believe it sends out a signal to other people, especially those particularly affected, that they can feel. This concept is not necessarily New Age, not that there is anything good or bad about New Age, but this is something that is rather commonsense and matter of fact. Don’t take my word for it, test it out in your own life, think about some of the relationships you have and your attitude towards those people. We are immersed in an invisible world that only comes alive when we decide to “tune-in” to those things. This concept works with television and radio; this also works on a human level, just search the internet on “kirlean photography”. Even if you don’t believe in humans sending out waves of thought and emotion – there is ample evidence about body language which works on a subtle, physical and psychological level. It is impossible to hold onto judgements and bitterness towards another person, and for them to not feel affected by those thoughts in one way or another. That judgementalism is bound to rebound on you in some way. I love the way The Message Bible puts it:

¹ "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults - unless, of course, you want the same treatment.

² That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging.

Matthew 7:1-2 MSG

I liked what Aimee Dassele said in the podcast episode “The People Revelation”; Aimee said that she had come to the conclusion that instead of considering what is right and wrong and making blanket judgements from there – it is better to consider whether something brings you life or not. Living life by a set of rules, as some people do, inevitably leads to making judgements about a person that are not true. Even if your judgements towards a person are indeed true, a person might drink excessively, a person might have an anger problem, but those things should not affect the way that you see them and interact with them. Our whole perspective on life, and other people, changes when we consider whether something brings us life and peace, or death, emptiness and frustration. What is right for one person may not be right for us, and vice-versa. The problem with blanket judgements and rules is that there is little or no flexibility for movement. We are all different people with different lives, goals, preferences, upbringings, strengths and weaknesses. When we consider if something brings us life, we re-connect the heart and see what is right for us. We can also connect to the heart of the other person and see things from their perspective – it is also known as compassion.

Releasing and inquiry provides the framework and tools that are conducive to re-connecting to the heart. Releasing and inquiry is not about rules or principles, what is right or wrong, but about welcoming “what is”, embracing reality, allowing other people and yourself to be the way they are, and living from that place. Everything originates from a thought and we can question those thoughts which are stressful to see if they bring us life and peace or frustration and emptiness. We cannot control other people; we cannot control our own thoughts; but by re-connecting to the heart in the framework of releasing and inquiry, we allow ourselves to let go of the contraction around a thought, want or emotion in order to find freedom from it. Only in the freedom from the contraction around beliefs and concepts, can we truly love ourselves, others and life.