Why Affirmations Don’t Work – Part 12

S.M.A.R.T. Goal-Setting

There is something of a standard in place in relation to goal-setting, identified by the acronym S.M.A.R.T. – which stands for:

· Specific

· Measurable

· Attainable

· Relevant

· Time-bound

This link provides Examples of Career SMART Goals. I think each word in this acronym pretty much speaks for itself. Basically, goals have got to be something useful and realistic – not some far-fetched fantasy or something otherwise of no practical use.

Specific Goals

As someone who has tried all sorts of self-help and spiritual methods over the years – I balk at the first component of this acronym – specific. I think it is a deadly cocktail when a specific desire is mixed with a future date – the result can lead to a fixation with a future occurrence, which may or may not happen. This fixation will inevitably lead to stress in the present moment. I am taking a particularly cautious stance with this because I know the neurotic mind, having been acquainted with my own for so long.

I know the way that the anxious mind latches onto an ideal to the point of becoming totally inflexible about it – even though it is stressful. Basically, the more stressful goal is – the less assurance you have of it coming to pass and the more you are looking to it to make you happy, give you a sense of purpose and identity, etc. So I suppose it all comes down to how insecure, and therefore, anxious a person is, because they are more inclined towards fantasy than reality.

A feeling will let you know when you’re holding on too tightly to a wrong thought. It is for this reason that it is so important to question your goals using inquiry. A good alternative to using The Work with goals is to use The Goal Process incorporated into The Sedona Method.

I remember a group of single girls I knew who went on some sort of workshop. They were basically encouraged to write down specific details of their dream partner. These girls inevitably wrote down typical things such as, “Tall, dark and handsome with muscles…” I remember feeling at the time that there was something not quite right about their approach. I could write down a goal that I will meet my perfect partner next year, that she will be beautiful with blonde hair and blue eyes. But what if I meet a nice girl with short red hair and green eyes?

I think this is probably one of the biggest potential pitfalls with goals: the problem of being so specific that you become inflexible and strongly attached to a specific outcome. Someone once said that expectation is the key to disappointment.

Another negative thing about goals is that it can get your mind fixed on the future. Eckhart Tolle’s bestselling book, The Power of Now, emphasises the fact that the only real time there is – is now. As soon as we mentally conceive the past or future unnecessarily – we invite stress into our lives.

I think there is something to be said about being specific about a goal; otherwise, you could end-up never reaching it. But if you do set specific goals, make sure you are flexible about what happens in your life: be prepared for any eventuality; don’t see something unexpected as a disappointment – see it as just something experienced on the journey of life.

Using the above example, I would say that we could make a goal out of meeting a partner because it is something that every adult should have. But I would say that a better way to phrase such a goal would be, “I attract a member of the opposite sex into my life, someone who I am attracted to, someone who I get along well with, someone who respects me for who I am…” I wouldn’t even be specific about anything like figure-type or looks: you could be expecting a petite woman, but meet a lovely voluptuous lady with curves to die for – I’m sure you get the picture. When it comes to certain goals – don’t restrict yourself.